Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be the youngest sister?
If you are reading this and you are the youngest sibling, maybe you have wondered what it would be like to be the oldest brother or sister. I am the oldest of three girls, which means I have two younger sisters. Being the first-born came with responsibilities, by definition, I was expected to set the example for my sisters. To pave the way for their success was the expectation.
For most of my life I enjoyed being the older sister. I felt in charge and entitled to “Big Sister” privileges like getting everything first and then passing it down to my little sisters. Being the big sister instinctively set me up for a role model position. A position I was not only responsible for, but also a role I desired to walk in and be excellent at.
I have never wondered what it would be like to be the youngest sister.
I have however, wondered what it would be like to have an older sister. For the passed years I have worked hard to be the best big sister I can be, and still try my best to this day.
I’ll be honest with you though, my “Big Sister” role no longer feels the same. As the big sister, I grew up expecting to experience life’s stages first and then helping my sisters navigate through them when it was their turn. For a while my expectations did not disappoint. I was the first to get a boyfriend (that includes first heartbreak), a driver’s license, wear make-up, leave the house for school, etc.
Life as the Big Sister was good!
It meant looking out for my little sisters. With every experience I encountered, I would learn from and then teach my sisters what NOT to do. I wanted my sisters to avoid the pain of my mistakes and wrong choices.
Almost a year ago in August, one of my sisters got married! I had a very difficult time accepting she wanted to marry her boyfriend at the time, which is now her husband. Not because I didn’t like him or didn’t agree with their relationship. It may have come across that way, but the truth was I wasn’t ready for her to marry.
Reflecting back, I was using the excuse of my sister being too young (even though we’re only 13 months apart) and not ready to marry. But now that I’m deeply reminiscing on that time, it was me who wasn’t ready for her to marry. I just couldn’t believe she was getting married first than me!
How can this be?
I am the oldest!
I am the first-born!
I need to get married first before she does!
These were my constant thoughts during that time.
Wow! I was one bitter big sister. God had to deal with my heart. I had a decision to make. Choose to be happy for her or choose to remain upset at the fact things weren’t happening the way I had expected. Of course I chose to be happy for her although it was still difficult for me to accept it wasn’t me.
Once my sister got married, things seemed to get back to normal. I still felt like the big sister because I had my youngest sister whom I needed to lead and encourage in the ways of the Lord. Surely, I would be next in line for marriage! There was no way my youngest sister would get married first than me. No way!
Well, I was wrong. Shortly after wedding #1 in our family had passed (2 months to be exact), my youngest sister gets engaged! Are you kidding me?! If you thought I was upset about my other sister getting married first than me, you can just imagine how I felt about the youngest of my sisters getting engaged!
Fast forward to now (July 20, 2018), my little sister will become a “Mrs.” and I will still be a “Miss.”. My journey as the big sister has been quite the adventure. There have been times in which my sisters have taught me lessons without them realizing.
Today I feel like the little sister.
I feel like my Big Sister role is over and now my little sisters are “bigger” than me. For them, my role as their big sister will never change. But it has for me. At least that’s how I feel right now considering my sisters have gotten married first than me.
I share all that to say this: Being the big sister is a humbling experience. I’ve learned to not be right all the time. I’ve learned to say sorry and be OK with things not always going my way. Most importantly, I’ve learned to love and be genuinely happy for my sisters and their accomplishments even if I’m not there yet.
So, my encouragement to you is found in 1 Peter 5:6 “Humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor.” When we become prideful or entitled to a position and its privileges, God has a way of humbling us by showing us it’s not always about what we want or what we expected. It’s always about him and the character he’s building in us.
Be blessed! Much love to you my lovely readers.
PS. I would love to hear from you! Have you had a similar experience? What was that like or what did you learn from it? Please comment below!