Posted in Life, Relationships

4 Tips on How to Effectively Show Interest In A Woman

Alright men! This blog is written specifically for you. With the sole purpose of helping you express your interest effectively to that young lady you’ve been spotting from a distance. First, I want you to know that us women highly appreciate your efforts in reaching out to us the best way you know how. However, if you don’t want to come off as a creep or as a try hard, here are a few tips you can begin using to see effective results after showing interest in a woman.

Side note: Every woman is unique. Therefore, you have to know the type of woman you want to pursue, and then strategize on how you’re going to get her attention so she eventually shows interest in you too.

For this particular blog, I’m going to focus on the woman who is ready to embark on a serious relationship with marriage being the destination. In addition, this woman knows her worth. She knows her purpose in life. She has vision for her life and passion to love and serve others well.

Don’t let this woman intimidate you. Her intentions are not to scare you away or be better than you. But perhaps challenge you to aim higher than what is expected from society. If you are serious about dating the right woman and eventually marrying her, here are a few tips you can apply to your approach and hopefully get positive results:

Tip #1: Introduce yourself appropriately.

In other words, do not message her or approach her with a casual “Hello” or “What’s up” expecting her to engage in a conversation with you without knowing who you are and where you come from.

If you have never met this woman personally but have seen her occasionally, or came across her social media profile and liked what you saw. The most effective way to say hi is by letting her know how you came across her profile or what intrigued you about her. Genuinely say hello and give her a brief summary of why you are interested in getting to know her.

DO: Start with your name and why you are interested in her.

DON’T: Just say “Hi” or “What’s up” without introducing yourself.

Tip #2: Show interest in what she’s interested in.

Of course you won’t know all she’s interested in, but you can still show interest by talking to her about what you have observed so far. For example, if this woman you are interested in reflects an interest in working out, reading books, cooking, traveling, etc. as depicted by her lifestyle or photos on social media. You will have a much higher chance of getting a positive response from her than when you simply ask, “How are you doing?”

Guys! You CANNOT approach a woman you don’t know personally with questions as if you did. That’s a little weird. Women are most likely to answer your questions when you ask about the things they are interested in or when you comment on them.

Do: Talk to her about her interests.

Don’t: Ask questions as if you know her personally.

Tip #3: Be yourself.

Women enjoy getting to know a man who is true to himself. A man who has nothing to hide, and is courageous enough to share his weaknesses. After all, we all have weaknesses. No one is exempt from them. Weaknesses make us human. When you are true to yourself, one of two good things can happen. You can either be encouraged by her words or you can establish a safe place for vulnerability later if your relationship grows into romance.

Do: Be honest with her about all of you.

Don’t: Pretend like you have it all together.

Tip #4: Seek friendship first, not romance.

Rather than focusing on winning her over, focus on cultivating friendship. Sooner than later, the months of intentional friendship would turn into years with the girl that became your friend that turned into family.

I’m sure you’ve heard countless of people mention the importance of asking lots of questions when you’re intentionally pursuing someone. Although this is true and I highly encourage you to do so, asking deep questions at the beginning is not ideal. You want to focus on establishing a strong friendship foundation first by asking basic foundational questions.

For example, ask about her interests. Ask about her goals, plans, and aspirations. Ask about her likes and dislikes, what encourages her or what inspires her to be better. Ask about her strengths and weaknesses, what bothers her or drives her crazy (cause no matter how well put together we may look, we all have a little crazy on the inside).

These are just a few basic questions you can ask to break the ice. You want to avoid the more intimate questions for later down the road if your friendship with this girl grows into a romantic one.

Having honest raw conversations about each other’s lives will make way for trust and vulnerability later. Most importantly, if your relationship with this girl does not progress to anything more than friendship, you can rest in the assurance that things won’t be awkward afterwards. The beauty of having established a friendship first will make things easier for both of you in the case your relationship does not grow into a romantic one.

Do: Strictly focus on establishing a friendship.

Don’t: Ask intimate questions.

It’s OK if she doesn’t show interest in you.

 Lastly, do not be discouraged if these tips do not make way for a romantic relationship. These tips are simply to help you to effectively show interest in a woman. Always see things from a positive perspective. If the girl you are interested in does not show interest in you, you still gave it your best shot and hopefully gained a good friend even if that wasn’t your long-term intention.

My hope is that you would receive positive feedback as you apply these tips to your approach towards showing interest in a woman.

Best wishes to you!

P.s I would love to hear back from you once you’ve tried these tips! Let me know if they worked or didn’t work.

Posted in Life

Misplaced Confidence

Would you consider yourself a confident individual?

If yes, why do you consider yourself confident? What are the attributes or qualities you believe make you a confident person?

If no, why don’t you consider yourself confident? What do you believe you lack that makes you unfit for confidence?

Me, I consider myself a confident girl, but sometimes I can be overly confident in myself, which in turn can get me into trouble. Being confident or having confidence in your-self is not a bad thing. In fact, confidence is a wonderful attribute to have. However, as good as it is to one’s self-esteem, too much confidence without a balance of placement can affect your self-esteem rather than help it.

I have come to find out through my own personal experiences that having confidence or the lack of is not the problem. The issue with confidence is the misplacement of it.

What or who are you confident in?

Are you confident solely in yourself? In your own strengths and abilities? Or even in your own accomplishments? Or maybe you’re confident in someone else? Perhaps in your boyfriend, husband or friend?

Rather than being confident only in your-self, in others, or your own abilities, we need to be confident in who God says he is, in his faithfulness.

Recently, I graduated with my Masters degree. Upon graduation and having completed one of my most challenging goals, I felt overly confident to go into the world and begin my career. I was placing my confidence in my resume, in my accomplishments, in my expensive degree, and in my own confidence as a young twenty something millennial.

Soon after having applied to several career opportunities and not receiving any offers, I found myself so discouraged and like all my hard work was a waste. This was the result of my misplaced confidence. I lost sight of God and his promises of provision. I was depending on my own strength and accomplishments instead of being confident in God and his promises.

When we misplace our confidence in other things rather than in God, we become prone to discouragement, hurt, and fall prey to the negative thoughts the devil uses to his advantage.

If you are reading this blog and know you have misplaced your confidence, I want you to know it is not too late to balance it. Likewise, if you don’t have confidence in anything, not in yourself and not even in God, you are not far from obtaining that much needed confidence in God.

I highly encourage you to begin seeing yourself the way God sees you. It may take a while, but as long as you’re trying your best and making progress is all that matters. Don’t give up and don’t you quit! Making progress in your thought pattern is a small victory leading to a much bigger victory.

Honestly, as long as you are confidant in who God says he is despite your feelings and circumstances, you will have peace that God’s got you and you have nothing to worry about. In due time, as you continue to be confident in God and not in yourself or anything else, he will bless you beyond anything you could ever ask or imagine.

Take time to listen to the song Confident by Steffany Gretzinger. Be encouraged and regain your peace by placing your confidence in God alone.

You are destined for greatness,

Crystal

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Posted in Faith, Life

Expect but don’t Forget

Wow! I can still remember the ending of 2016 and getting ready for 2017. As usual, I entered the New Year with expectancy for greater and better things than what the year before had in store. Surprisingly, 2017 was a year of growth for me rather than a year of prosperity like I had hoped for. Nonetheless 2017 was filled with wonder and unexpected blessings.

Continue reading “Expect but don’t Forget”

Posted in Faith, Life

Thrown Down But Not Defeated

“Life is tough, but so are you!”

There is absolutely NOTHING in this world that could ever separate us from God’s everlasting love for us. People, even those we love the most, and blindsided circumstances will attempt to kill our joy and dreams. But God’s plans and purpose for those tough and unimaginable moments of heartache are what brings us closer to our destiny. Continue reading “Thrown Down But Not Defeated”

Posted in Life

What 24 Years of Life Have Taught Me

Experience #1: Hanging out with the right crowd will take you further than you ever will on your own.

Ever since I was a little girl I have always been apart of a certain group or click. You would never see me alone or isolated from others. I enjoyed being among the crowd and having others to socialize with. With every school grade I passed, I always had new friends that were similar to me. By similar I’m referring to similar mindsets. The fact I was hanging out with people who also wanted to be successful and purposeful, motivated me to work harder and sacrifice more. Competition presented itself within my group of friends. However, it was the healthy form of competition that enabled us to get closer to our individual goals. Throughout my adolescence and early adulthood up until now, hanging out with the right people (not necessarily friends) has only gotten me closer to my dreams and desires. Without their drive to be better and desire to succeed and conquer, I would not be half the person I am today.

Continue reading “What 24 Years of Life Have Taught Me”