Posted in Life, Relationships

Do You Have Friends In Your Life?

What would life be without friends?

BORING! That’s for sure. And probably very, very sad.

According to dictionary.com, the word friend is defined as: “a person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard; who gives assistance and support; who is on good terms with another; a person who is not hostile.

In simpler terms, a friend is someone who cares, encourages, and provides hospitality.

So in reality, there’s no such thing as a bad friend. We either have friends or we don’t. If you consider people in your life “bad friends,” they’re simply not your friends at all. Because a friend as defined above, is not a “bad friend.”

How can a friend by definition be a friend and bad at the same time? It just doesn’t make sense.

It is of the utmost importance for us to have friends. Here’s why:

“There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. “For whom am I toiling,” he asked, “and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?” This too is meaningless – a miserable business!”

– Ecclesiastes 4:8 –

It is meaningless to be alone and have no friends.

Friendships minimize our brokenness and depression. They also minimize our exhaustion and heaviness from our jobs, relationships, and circumstances. The reality is, we will all go through hard seasons of exhaustion, depression, loneliness and much more. But whom will we have next to us when we go through it?

The scripture above tells us that no matter how much wealth we have, it does not compare to having friends in our lives. This man was alone and had wealth. Yet, he was very unsatisfied. He basically asked himself, “what’s the point of having wealth when I have no one to share it with?” This man was miserable! Life without friends is miserable.

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, once can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”

– Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 –

Together is always better!

Togetherness makes room for encouragement, support, and refinement. We can’t encourage, support, and refine someone if there is no on in our life to do that with. The verse mentioned above talks about having each other’s back. When one of us is not having a good day or is going through a hard time, a friend steps in to help pick that friend up. When we need guidance figuring things out or making decisions, a friend is there to help with that.

We ought to feel sorry for those who have no one to help them up when they go through hard times in their life. It’s not good for us to be alone! God himself said it in Genesis 2:18. God created us for companionship, first with Him, then with each other.

“Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

– Ecclesiastes 4:11-12 –

Hanging out brings comfort.

We cannot comfort ourselves fully. We need the presence of God and each other to bring comfort into our lives. Each other’s presence brings confidence and assurance that we can and will overcome anything that tries to put us down. The verse mentioned above tells us that a cord of three strands is not quickly broken. In other words, two is better than one, but three is even better!

The more friends we have, the better! Each friend is different; therefore each friend will encourage us differently. Sometimes we will need to reach out to a certain friend for a specific situation we’re going through, while at other times, we’ll need the encouragement of a different friend. This doesn’t mean one friend is better than the other. It simply means we are each unique individuals with different personalities and experiences. What one friend can help with the other cannot and vise versa. More is better!

So, do you have friends in your life?

Friends, who care about you, encourage you, and love on you despite your circumstances?

I highly encourage you to carefully evaluate your friendships based on the truth shared with you on this blog. Remember, “bad friends” are not your friends at all.

 

Let’s chat: How have your friends helped you become a better version of yourself?

 

Posted in Life, Relationships

4 Tips on How to Effectively Show Interest In A Woman

Alright men! This blog is written specifically for you. With the sole purpose of helping you express your interest effectively to that young lady you’ve been spotting from a distance. First, I want you to know that us women highly appreciate your efforts in reaching out to us the best way you know how. However, if you don’t want to come off as a creep or as a try hard, here are a few tips you can begin using to see effective results after showing interest in a woman.

Side note: Every woman is unique. Therefore, you have to know the type of woman you want to pursue, and then strategize on how you’re going to get her attention so she eventually shows interest in you too.

For this particular blog, I’m going to focus on the woman who is ready to embark on a serious relationship with marriage being the destination. In addition, this woman knows her worth. She knows her purpose in life. She has vision for her life and passion to love and serve others well.

Don’t let this woman intimidate you. Her intentions are not to scare you away or be better than you. But perhaps challenge you to aim higher than what is expected from society. If you are serious about dating the right woman and eventually marrying her, here are a few tips you can apply to your approach and hopefully get positive results:

Tip #1: Introduce yourself appropriately.

In other words, do not message her or approach her with a casual “Hello” or “What’s up” expecting her to engage in a conversation with you without knowing who you are and where you come from.

If you have never met this woman personally but have seen her occasionally, or came across her social media profile and liked what you saw. The most effective way to say hi is by letting her know how you came across her profile or what intrigued you about her. Genuinely say hello and give her a brief summary of why you are interested in getting to know her.

DO: Start with your name and why you are interested in her.

DON’T: Just say “Hi” or “What’s up” without introducing yourself.

Tip #2: Show interest in what she’s interested in.

Of course you won’t know all she’s interested in, but you can still show interest by talking to her about what you have observed so far. For example, if this woman you are interested in reflects an interest in working out, reading books, cooking, traveling, etc. as depicted by her lifestyle or photos on social media. You will have a much higher chance of getting a positive response from her than when you simply ask, “How are you doing?”

Guys! You CANNOT approach a woman you don’t know personally with questions as if you did. That’s a little weird. Women are most likely to answer your questions when you ask about the things they are interested in or when you comment on them.

Do: Talk to her about her interests.

Don’t: Ask questions as if you know her personally.

Tip #3: Be yourself.

Women enjoy getting to know a man who is true to himself. A man who has nothing to hide, and is courageous enough to share his weaknesses. After all, we all have weaknesses. No one is exempt from them. Weaknesses make us human. When you are true to yourself, one of two good things can happen. You can either be encouraged by her words or you can establish a safe place for vulnerability later if your relationship grows into romance.

Do: Be honest with her about all of you.

Don’t: Pretend like you have it all together.

Tip #4: Seek friendship first, not romance.

Rather than focusing on winning her over, focus on cultivating friendship. Sooner than later, the months of intentional friendship would turn into years with the girl that became your friend that turned into family.

I’m sure you’ve heard countless of people mention the importance of asking lots of questions when you’re intentionally pursuing someone. Although this is true and I highly encourage you to do so, asking deep questions at the beginning is not ideal. You want to focus on establishing a strong friendship foundation first by asking basic foundational questions.

For example, ask about her interests. Ask about her goals, plans, and aspirations. Ask about her likes and dislikes, what encourages her or what inspires her to be better. Ask about her strengths and weaknesses, what bothers her or drives her crazy (cause no matter how well put together we may look, we all have a little crazy on the inside).

These are just a few basic questions you can ask to break the ice. You want to avoid the more intimate questions for later down the road if your friendship with this girl grows into a romantic one.

Having honest raw conversations about each other’s lives will make way for trust and vulnerability later. Most importantly, if your relationship with this girl does not progress to anything more than friendship, you can rest in the assurance that things won’t be awkward afterwards. The beauty of having established a friendship first will make things easier for both of you in the case your relationship does not grow into a romantic one.

Do: Strictly focus on establishing a friendship.

Don’t: Ask intimate questions.

It’s OK if she doesn’t show interest in you.

 Lastly, do not be discouraged if these tips do not make way for a romantic relationship. These tips are simply to help you to effectively show interest in a woman. Always see things from a positive perspective. If the girl you are interested in does not show interest in you, you still gave it your best shot and hopefully gained a good friend even if that wasn’t your long-term intention.

My hope is that you would receive positive feedback as you apply these tips to your approach towards showing interest in a woman.

Best wishes to you!

P.s I would love to hear back from you once you’ve tried these tips! Let me know if they worked or didn’t work.